With the new show on the Discovery Channel show Pitch Men, two of the country’s best product hawkers show their skills showcasing some oddball products. These guys show that they can sell ice to an Eskimo, it also made me wonder how other starts are at hawking goods. The first one that comes to mind is Michael Jordan who is the ultimate pitch man, from McDonalds to underwear, he can sell ’em all. The same can’t be said for his brothers in sweats,who may have skills on the gridiron, hardwood or diamond, but lack the charisma of his Airness.
Below is a list of the lackluster performances that left sponsors wondering where their dollars went to.
10. Dein Sanders & Adam “Pacman” Jones – Driver Select
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9jjtKZo6-Y]
I don’t know how the preaching DB got hooked up with the “Make it Rain” DB
9. Dustin Pedroia – Dunkin Donuts
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R36Ghp__03w]
While I love the balding second baseman on the field, his acting is so bad, he has a total of zero lines
8. Jonathan Odgen – Gebco
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tGWmk2dkXrw]
The big man protected the blindside a hell of a lot better than his dancing that picked up some hunnies from the block.
7. Charles Barkley – Right Guard
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LT2JZtZoL4o]
Where the hell did Sir Charles get the English Accent
6. Scotty Pippen – Mr. Submarine
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MVmSm3FVaFQ]
This commercial was best left in Chicago. “This is one six footer I can’t handle alone,” innuendo at its best.
5. Jonathan Papelbon – 125 Auto
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4PkgqTkF34]
Stick to closing games and drunk dancing paps.
4. Hulk Hogan – Hitachi (Japan)
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDk5QOb1GRc]
Say it ain’t so Hulkster, singing with Japanese.So much for the Real American Hero.
3. Hulk Hogan – Right Guard
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2784o1swxv4]
Like Sir Charles, the Hulkster should not be hawking BO guard. Accents don’t fit bad asses.
2. Dwayen Wade & Sir Charles – T-Mobile
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QIH8NrNeso]
Flash should know that he can make more money spreading his VD around than hanging out with an overweight, drunk bad golfer.
1. Michael Vick – Nike
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Oag8iBB7HE]
I am sure Nike wishes the could have this $100M back. Oh wait, they do.
